The ability to pause, assess, and reset is crucial for maintaining clear, effective decision-making. Drawing on principles from polyvagal theory and contemporary research on emotion regulation, this 3-step reset framework offers a practical, evidence-based approach to reclaiming control when you feel overwhelmed.
The first step in regaining balance is to quickly check in with yourself—both mentally and physically. By recognizing your current state, you can determine whether you’re in a reactive mode or if you’re grounded and present. Use these fast check-ins as a guide:
| Signal | Possible Nervous System State | Quick Check-In Question |
|---|---|---|
| Racing thoughts, urgency, tension | Sympathetic (fight/flight) | “Am I activated, or am I present?” |
| Shutdown, flat, dissociated | Dorsal vagal (freeze/collapse) | “Am I activated, or am I present?” |
| People-pleasing, foggy, passive | Fawn/blended response | “Am I activated, or am I present?” |
| Calm, alert, present | Ventral vagal (regulated & connected) | “Am I activated, or am I present?” |
Understanding these states is rooted in polyvagal theory, which explains how our autonomic nervous system adapts to stress (Porges, 2007). Recognizing whether your body is in a state of heightened alertness or shutdown is key to choosing an appropriate response.
Once you’ve identified your state, select one strategy from each of these three categories to help restore balance:
Name what’s true right now: Ask yourself, “What’s in my control?”
Reframe your thoughts: Remind yourself, “I can handle this.”
Differentiate fact from story: Identify the objective reality versus any personal narrative you might be creating.
Deep belly breathing: Practice the 4-7-8 breathing technique, which has been shown to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and promote calm (Jerath et al., 2015).
Vagus nerve activation: Use techniques such as humming, singing, or gentle self-touch (placing a hand on your heart) to help stimulate the vagus nerve.
Physical movement: Shake out your arms/legs or press your feet firmly into the ground to facilitate an adrenal release and grounding response.
Change your physical space: Step outside or move to a quieter area to reduce sensory overload.
Use external cues: Dim lights, use a calming scent, or play soft music to create a soothing environment.
Connect with others: Text or speak briefly with a person who helps you feel regulated.
By deliberately choosing one strategy from each category, you create a multi-faceted reset that addresses cognitive, physiological, and contextual dimensions of stress.
Finally, assess what your body and mind truly require at that moment. Your response might differ based on your current state:
| If You Feel… | Try… |
|---|---|
| Trapped or restless | Take one small action step |
| Overstimulated or reactive | Do nothing on purpose—pause and rest |
| Numb or foggy | Engage in light movement or a brief change of state |
| In looping thoughts | Externalize: write, speak, or clarify your thoughts |
| Shaky or overexposed | Create a boundary or delay your response |
Ask yourself:
“Do I need to move forward—or do I need to let go right now?”
“Is this a time to act or a time to restore?”
By aligning your response with your actual needs, you ensure that your next steps are both effective and sustainable.
For lasting benefits, consider integrating these polyvagal-informed lifestyle practices into your daily routine:
| Practice Type | Examples |
|---|---|
| Daily Rhythm | Morning grounding, structured transitions |
| Body Regulation | Yoga, breathwork, regular body scans |
| Social Co-Regulation | Regular contact with supportive and trusted individuals |
| Neuroception Hygiene | Avoid overstimulation, create sensory balance |
| Play and Joy | Laughter, singing, and unstructured creative time |
These practices help tone your nervous system over time, making it easier to manage stress and maintain resilience even in high-pressure situations.
When activated by stress, conflict, or uncertainty, the ability to pause and reset is essential. This 3-step reset—identifying your current state, choosing targeted reset strategies, and deciding what you truly need—provides a practical framework for regaining balance. By incorporating both immediate and long-term practices informed by polyvagal theory and emotion regulation research, you empower yourself to navigate challenges with greater clarity and resilience.
In a world where demands are constant and pressure is inevitable, learning to reset isn’t just a coping mechanism—it’s a pathway to sustained peak performance.
References
Jerath, R., Edry, J. W., Barnes, V. A., & Jerath, V. (2015). Physiology of long pranayamic breathing: Neural respiratory elements may provide a mechanism that explains how slow deep breathing shifts the autonomic nervous system. Medical Hypotheses, 85(5), 486-496.
Porges, S. W. (2007). The polyvagal perspective. Biological Psychology, 74(2), 116-143.
Gross, J. J. (2002). Emotion regulation: Affective, cognitive, and social consequences. Psychophysiology, 39(3), 281-291.
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